The Louver In France
Feb0
My New Year’s Resolution for 2010 is to improve my French to a level in which I can express myself effectively.
Today saw me to struggle to spit French words out of my mouth; the feeling being that these words were clunking around in my head, and the effort to get them out — let alone pronounced correctly — was a challenge. Sure, every native English speaker wants a little lubricant when it comes to talking Parisian French, but for me, the worst part is the fatigue I feel this evening. I feel so incredibly drained, as if the four hours of French I spoke today was equivalent to two month’s hard labor. It was such a relief this evening to visit the condo of a friend just to talk without any cognitive effort — and to be able to express myself as an adult, not a shy child.
What disturbs me the most, though, is how my personality changes between languages. In English, I fancy myself a bit of a raconteur who can spin a boring story into an intriguing one; but in my mediocre French, my goal is simply to be understood. I don’t want to be liked, adored, thought of as funny, just understood. I find it too complicated to speak pretty and be understood at the same time — for now, in French, I’m just trying to express myself in the most basic manner possible.
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